![]() ![]() And the casual approach to arson by both the main boys - that was kind of the nail in the coffin for my engagement in the story. Would it really be fear? I'm inclined to think that there would be far more curiosity than fear. Characters are not behaving in a reasonable way to seeing someone floating in the air. (We really have no idea if they even know what is going on - big cyphers in terms of characters). And yet apparently he still thinks that he is hiding? And why haven't the bad guys grabbed him? The aunt and uncle are never home and don't seem to have any awareness of his activities. why is it that the bad guys are obviously always watching and parked across the street and always driving silver cars? They are not even being subtle. And if he is on the run from the bad guys. I didn't see how any trust had been established. If you had a really big secret that no one knows which could destroy you, would you really share it with a boy who you just met, and with whom you haven't yet had an actual pleasant conversation? That was far too quick and felt like the writer wanted the character to say it, but it made no sense. (Mild nonspecific spoilers) Characters often don't respond to situations like normal folks would react. There are a lot of points that don't quite make sense. ![]() it reads fine), it feels like it needs another rewrite or two. ![]() It is an engaging idea, the characters are interesting-ish, and though the writing is solid (no typos or awkward sentences. ![]()
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